Warbled

I woke up today dreaming old dreams. I dreamt of a formerly good friend who I fell out with shortly before I came here. I got into his car, and the old animosity just melted away. It wasn't like old times. It was like new times, as the new people we've become. He had gotten a new job installing floors. But he still wasn't very happy with his life. Then we almost crashed, but he bumped the stationary jeep sitting in the road out of the way. It rolled off the pavement, into the woods. Then the perspective flew backwards, upwards, and the scene warbled away.


I dreamt of kissing a girl that I hardly knew, and haven't thought of for years. She was around a lot while I was in university, but I never got to know her because I didn't think much of her. I was sitting on a cliff, looking down at the water hundreds of feet below, and she came up behind me and started kissing me. And I panicked because I was slipping off the edge, but I forced her away and the dream moved elsewhere.


It's unsettling when dreams explicitly reflect the things you've been thinking about. They get an eerie, heavy, ultra-vivid atmosphere that the reality generally doesn't merit. Making universes out of molehills. I prefer when dreams stick to the purely imaginative and nonsensical. I hate it when they turn mundane things into monsters. With their subtlety, their authoritarian control over atmosphere. Never liked dreams much.

When I bought my ticket home I was just relieved that I was finally going. Now, I've been remembering more and more what life was there. Remembering faces, situations, years. The first dream echoed how life was in the couple of years just before I came here. The second went further back. Made me remember some of what I was then. Made it something else of its own.

Gotta shake it. Gotta get out of this room now.